Breakfast Without Meat, Part One - Take THAT, Madison Avenue!

by Derrick Bostrom

I met the editors of the Bay Area humor zine Breakfast Without Meat in the mid 80's. Bonding commenced forthwith. We quickly determined that I must contribute to the magazine. Over the course of the next half a decade or so, I supplied them with comics, interviews, spot illustrations and other bits of nonsense. But these are my favorite contributions. Based on the old ad parodies in "Mad" magazine, my series purports to attack those shameless companies who would prey on the fragile sentiments and allegiances of the American consumer. Armed with nothing but a few leftover markers and access to my neighborhood Kinko's, I launched a deft crusade against "the forces of unbridled consumerism" that could not be contained. That is, not until I lost interest (or the magazine ceased publication; I no longer remember which came first).

Adopting a pointlessly lofty tone, I breast-stroked effortlessly through a stridently paranoid miasma, equating advertising with fascism, finally indicting our very government itself. I'd like to say the hollow corpses of my targets collapsed easily under the weight of their own shabby corruption once the light of my righteous parody was shined upon them, but I fear this is not the case. Their presence remains, in fact: stronger than ever, their heavy heel resting comfortably upon our throats, our shoulders heavy from their yoke, our backs blistered by their lash.

Time for a sequel, perhaps?